The stages of grief

September 1, 2011

The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Some like to throw a few other stages in there, but I like these five because there are less of them, and hey….the less I have to deal with the better.  You have plenty of options, only a few will lead you back to any kind of normalcy.  So, at this time what stage are we looking at?  Depression and some form of anger are going hand in hand.  Mom doesn’t want to eat or have any appetite to do so.  Right now it is just something she is doing because she knows she has to.  There are some crying jags and she is having a hard time sleeping or staying asleep.  It could be a medication thing and we are looking into that but it could also be she just does not want to deal with this new life.  She said to me the other day that she just doesn’t want to deal with the cancer, the treatments, or be any part of it.  Logically, she knows there is no choice.  You keep fighting the fight until you can’t do it anymore.  We are not there yet, and I hope it will be a long time before we are.  I think that for me, it would be easier to be going through the process myself than to see it happening to someone I love. 

Control is obviously a big issue with me.  I will say that I was “affectionately” referred to as a drill sergeant the other day by my mother because I told her she had to get out of bed and she had to get dressed.  You know how you feel when you stay in your pajamas all day.  Blah!  In order to feel better, you need to make yourself look better.  Now I would not be pushing her like this if she seriously didn’t feel good, but when you are not in pain or sick…..buck up!  A girl has to do what a girl has to do.  If you don’t use it, you lose it.  I am sure there are a million and one of these little blurbs out there and they all hold true.

Prayer requests:  pray that mom will not have any of the nausea from the chemo drugs.  She started the Revlimid today at 10:30 am.  Prayers for continued good health and that she regain her strength so she can continue what God has in store for her.