Head in the sand

September 21, 2011

There are times in my life where I get a real pit in my stomach.  Sometimes I think it is too much coffee, but the older I get, I realize that it is probably stress and me being on overload.  Other times it is because I do not want to face certain truths.  I will tend to gloss over things that I am afraid of.  When mom says she is feeling depressed, I think to myself, “Nah…she is just having a bad day.”  I try to talk her into “not” feeling that way.  It is my belief that if I don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.  The proverbial head in the sand stance has been my motto for a long time.  I don’t like to admit this, but guilty as charged.

So, I am trying to face these realities; that with the cancer and all the other things going on in my everyday life, mom could have some depression.  Another thing that I cannot fix but by listening and being there, I can make it better in some way.  She has increased her Prozac and I am hoping that will help her through this stage in her life.  Dr. Zakem said on Tuesday that her blood counts are good and that she is doing well with the treatment thus far.  She started her second round of chemo this week and has taken the flu shot to ward off any illness that can be prevented.  He also said that her immune system should be okay but to be cautious around those who are sick.

Tomorrow I will be to spend some quality time with my mom and try to be a better listener and not quench the pit in my stomach by dismissing her feelings.

Thank you for the prayers that have been helping her with any nausea and horrible side effects she could be experiencing.